Interview with the Slicer

This is tiresome. But, if you hold it straight, it might work...Thank you. Yeah. It’s very tiresome. The slices of beef are all done right now. Smell ‘em...Nice, huh? Yeah. And, it’s my job to slice it. What?...Oh. Marinate, slice, then packaging, It’s just us 4. Well as I said, it is tiresome. We work pretty hard. 5-10 hr. shifts a week. Slicing and slicing . Yeah...No Ha! We get asked that lot...There are no fingers in the beef...Yeah. Of course you can. This hand is just missing the 1. This one has two gone but I can still grasp. See?...Those 3 are stitched back on. You sort of favor the other fingers at that point...Why only 4 slicers? This ain’t so glamorous. It doesn’t have the mystery that the marinaters hold. It doesn’t have the camaraderie of packaging. It’s just slicing beef...Oh sure, I like everyone here fine. But, our hands are our trade. So, there isn’t a lot of rogue chatter down here, ya know. We’re always watching our hands...Oh yes. The company helps out. A bit. Well, they request us,, to watch our hands. They request that fairly regularly. Any and all accidents are frowned upon...When we can’t use one of our hands, we are terminated. Oh sure, we have a pension...But, when we lose the right amount of digits, we’re done. We retire. The pension is however much we have accumulated. The Safety features on the slicer are pretty hi-tech. This guard is a strong plastic. Hit this red switch and everything shuts off...Yeah. It can be tough to remember to hit the red button when you’re in the middle of losing a finger. Hey, you panic too, dont’cha? See?...What don’t we get?...Here...Write this down...Ready?...One of the rules of the job is that we must have two working hands, as I said. It doesn’t matter if it’s 1 year, 5, 20 or 30. I’ve been here 20 and I’m doing all right...As long as we get to the hospital in around half an hour we’re fine...Sure, you have to drive fast. Nearest hospital’s 45 minutes away. And, if someone hasn’t called ahead...They retired Burlap Miller last year. He got there and the hospital was just swamped down. They could not get to him. Poor soul. Watched his job and hand die right there...He was 28. Really good, too...He does OK. I haven’t heard from him but he gets a decent wage...Oh. Really? I didn’t know. Is there...When was the funeral?...Yeah. That’s why. I was working...Poor guy. How did he do it? Oh...Well, I don’t imagine that’s so painful. Yeah...Yes. They do cover medical and disability for everyone else. But, the hand and finger problem isn’t a disability under “Prepared Beef Rules”. It just means early retirement....How does that strike me? Now look Mr., I’m a Slicer, that’s what I do. This is my calling. I am excellent at what I do. Are we gonna have accidents? Sure. Try doing this 50 hours a week. You get sloppy. It would be great if we had more people to do it but it’s just too dangerous and too rewardless, if that’s a word. The carolers don’t even stop by here on Christmas. We have to go to them...Is it thrilling? Slicing beef? No. It’s a job. It’s what I’m good at...Look OK, OK. I’ve had enough questions, all right...Ya know what, we work here because when this started we got all sorts of benefits. But, as we got bigger, they went one by one. Medical and disability? 20 years ago, we had that. They took it away. If I stay another 20, I get full pension. But, I don’t know if I’ll make it. And, it’s too late for me to transfer. You need more than the Frankenstein Monster’s hands to do other things in this plant. We can’t even marinate. Closed shop. They won’t let us in. Hey, slicing’ll take anyone. But, they have to trick ‘em. Or, get someone like Burlap who doesn’t-didn’t care and thinks the world is his and he can’t get hurt. But, someone like that is usually pretty careless and they’re gone quick. This job...Here I am. I can’t go. I think I can’t...I don’t know. This isn’t something I like to think about...I...I’m going to go back to slicing. Mind the beef on the floor.