Turbot Tribune has some big news!

Hey everyone! Marlene here... The big story in this morning's Turbot Tribune! We knew "J. J." Not a very pleasant man but still...

(I transcribed this myself so forgive any misstakes (lol).)


Beloved Movie Reviewer Dies

Jack "J.J." Johnson, beloved inhabitant and home owner in Turbot since its inception, was officially declared "deceased" at 6:42 Turbot time, September 18. The official cause of death has been listed as "mysterious". But, there is nothing mysterious about what the man did for this town: he wrote our movie reviews! Apart from the Do-It-Yourself Page and the headline, his reviews were the most read portions of The Turbot Tribune for many years.

Jack "J.J." was a taciturn man who would tell you what he thought of a movie only after a lot of finagling. He reviewed the movies for 8 non-consecutive years. He reviewed them well. But, he really loved watching the fish. The majority of the week passers-by could find him staring at the small pond adjacent to Old Hagar's Swamp. Staring real hard and trying to get the fish to come out. Always ready with a joke or a story, unless you asked him for one. Then, he'd clam right up. "Never do anything under duress," he'd say. "Even question your Mother." Many folks knew him, before his critical reign, as the head of Shipping at the Prepared Beef Plant for 12 years.

F. Rupric Rondstadt, the Tribune's editor-in-chief, smiled as he spoke of this pillar of our small community. "Apart from fish watching, hopping in the car and going to the Rialto was the biggest joy of his life. Jack "J.J." really loved the trip. In the end, he's probably pretty glad about everything that happened to him. The new Rialto owners weren't his sort." In fact, on several occasions, the reviewer had expressed his distaste over the ownership of the Rialto recently changing hands. Word is that he was no longer given free popcorn. So, maybe he did get out at a good time. Maybe movie reviewing in Turbot isn't what it used to be.

One man would challenge this...

Drathmoor! Cyril P. Drathmoor! Turbot's new movie critic. "Hi, folks! I'm game for a little adventure! You?!" With that opening announcement, a new era in movie reviews has begun. His press release continues: "I love movies so very, very much. I hope that I can instill my giant love for the cinema inside the good people of Turbot!" He promises that he will have a review in every Monday edition as opposed to J.J.'s reviews that appeared whenever he made it to the theater. Drathmoor also promises a few new bits of excitement here and there. "I just want everyone to stay tuned! And, be sure to read every week!"

The man loves movies! That much is for sure.

Be there...From now to eternity.



I hardly know Cyril but we are interested in reading his reviews. Maybe he'll let us post them here? Who knows?