A Memo from Grey's Prepared Beef Managers to the Workers

Hello, Workers.

This is Barbara. Most of you don't know me but I am one of the Assistant Managers in the Plant. I work on the First Floor, near Marketing. I have been asked to post this memo on your charming blog in regards to the main refrigerator in the Cafeteria, which is located on one of the underground floors.

I had a look at the refrigerator in question at it is appalling. Forgive me if I sound rude and I'm not singling anyone in particular out here but all of you people will be requested during your shift tomorrow to, one by one, look at the filth that is the workers' doing.

The refrigerator is filled with little worms. They seem to be scurrying up the inside and leaving their dead (or dying) in the freezer. It has now become some sort of Worm Graveyard. They remain forever frozen awaiting revivification.

Like I've said, we are not blaming anyone in particular but you people need to know that when workers are filthy, you attract all sorts of filthy creatures. It's a wonder we don't have rats running throughout the factory with the way the workers (not you specifically) spread their filth across everything.

I don't know the way the people who work here live but it's certainly not the way I do. We found a six month old tostada crammed behind the filthy appliance and the wall. We know it's no one from the above-ground floors because we've never seen each other eat a tostada and cram it behind the fridge.

Again, this is just a general call to keep a closer eye on your food. Mr. Grey has discussed taking away the refrigerator and, possibly, all "food privileges". Maybe the new owners will be less stringent on the decaying filth that the workers bring to cram in their mouths or maybe, as is more likely, they'll close this hole down and leave you all to swim in offal in the privacy of your own home.

Regardless, when the company gets sold, I make a cool $150,000 so do what you want. I could care less.


Sincerely,

Barbara Schwarz,
Ass. Manager